To all the moms struggling with guilt over returning to work, using daycare, or facing guilt as a full-time working mom: As a daughter who has seen her mother wrestle with these feelings and self-doubt, I want to share a powerful message. My mom’s journey—from battling working mom guilt to becoming a source of inspiration—has shaped who I am now. Dear Moms, your choices are valuable, and you are a powerful role model for your children.

How to Overcome Working Mom Guilt

From childhood, I observed my mom struggle with guilt while balancing her responsibilities as a working mother. When I spoke about friends with stay-at-home moms who packed lunchboxes, cooked favorite dishes, or when others commented on these differences, her guilt would intensify. She often felt she didn’t know all my favorite foods and relied on practical, quick, and healthy meals due to her tight schedule. Hearing about other parents, like my cousins who had their mothers at home welcoming them and serving hot snacks after school, made her feel inadequate.

However, as we, her daughters, grew up, we became independent and self-sufficient individuals because she was a busy full-time working mom who didn’t have much time to interfere in every corner of our lives. This independence and capability are a direct result of the training we received as part of her busy routine, which taught us to handle things on our own.

Whenever the working mom guilt sets in or you feel like giving up, consider these points I’ve learned from my experiences as both the daughter of a working mom and a working mom myself. This might help you overcome the guilt of being a working mom full-time.

Lessons and Benefits of Having a Working Mom

One of the most valuable tips I’ve learned for overcoming working mom guilt is recognizing the lessons and benefits that come from having a working mom. From my mom, I learned invaluable lessons and gained numerous benefits:

• Financial Independence: Seeing my mom’s financial independence encouraged me to become a financially independent woman myself. The financial freedom she had helped her to make her own decisions and show us who she truly is.
• Empathy: One of the greatest gifts a mom gives her children, even without realizing, is the development of empathy and compassion. Observing my mom’s raw emotions and the challenges she faced in managing household chores and parenting helped me understand and relate to other women facing similar struggles and dealing with various forms of mom guilt.
• Family Dynamics: I learned the importance of sharing responsibilities within a family by observing how we divided parental, household, and financial duties. We lived in partnership while respecting each other’s opinions and contributions. This experience significantly improved my understanding of collaboration and mutual support in family relationships.
• Independence, Strength, and Resilience: Growing up with a working mom, I witnessed her struggles to balance the demands of work and family life, which sometimes required me to adjust or make sacrifices. This experience taught me to tackle problems independently and face life’s difficulties more easily . The strength, resilience, and self-sufficiency I developed were shaped by observing and facing these challenges alongside my mom throughout my childhood and growing years.
• Setting Boundaries: Setting boundaries is an important lesson every parent should teach their kids, especially in today’s world. I learned this valuable lesson from watching my working mom. Observing her set boundaries with us, in her career, and with toxic people in her life showed me just how important it is.

Be Realistic

Dear Moms, be realistic with your life decisions. Even if you may not be perfect in certain areas of work, family, or household responsibilities, it’s important to stay motivated and enjoy your life. Feel accomplished because it’s nearly impossible for anyone to balance everything perfectly without support or compromise. Everyone has to make sacrifices in different areas. Being realistic is key to overcoming full-time working mom guilt.

Finding Your Unique Parenting Path

Whenever I hear a fellow mother struggling with full-time working mom guilt, I share how our family dealt with similar challenges and built strong bonds even with busy schedules. We found unique ways to create happiness and connection.

For example, my mom often felt guilty about sending me to daycare. However, my father would highlight a precious moment that stood out: the joy and emotional rollercoaster of seeing me each day after daycare. He would recall how my face lit up with excitement when they picked me up, and how that hour together was a cherished part of their day. Regardless of others’ negative comments about daycare, my parents treasured those heartfelt moments of reunion, which they considered some of the most special in my childhood.

Weighing Quality Over Quantity

My mom was often tired or busy with household work and didn’t have much time to play with me. Still, the hour from 8 to 9 each evening was truly special for us. During that time, we set aside work, phones, and TV, and focused solely on each other. Sundays mean outings, dining out, and watching movies together for us. These moments are what I fondly remember and draw strength from, even now. I believe that if we had more time but it was less meaningful, I wouldn’t cherish those memories as much.

Self-care Matters!

My mom used to be a great fan of quotes. She would print or cut out quotes and paste them around the house. As a child, I often wondered why she spent time on this instead of spending it with me. Now, I admire her for this practice. I realize that the importance she placed on self-care was helping her manage everything without losing her mental health or creating a stress-free home environment.

Reflections from Mindful Portrait

Working mom guilt is common, but it’s essential to prioritize yourself, balance quality time with family and work, and maintain a realistic schedule. By doing so, you  guarantee that your children will be proud of you and appreciate your efforts. Trust your instincts and don’t let guilt overshadow your parenting joy. Raising a child is fulfilling. Enjoy that pride and be proud of yourself.