Every mother wishes to provide the best for her kids. If breast milk is the best, breastfeeding guilt is the worst. Weaning at 6 months often happens without the mother’s full acceptance. Many women love the feeling of ‘providing’ for their babies, so when they decide on stopping breastfeeding at 6 months , guilt can persist for a long time.
6 Months Breastfeeding Journey & the breastfeeding guilt
The World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend that babies should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months and continue breastfeeding alongside the introduction of complementary foods until at least 2 years of age or longer if preferred. Even if you stop breastfeeding at six months, instead of feeling guilty, celebrate the benefits you’ve provided and the effort you’ve put in, as you’ve given your child immense benefit during this important period.
Reasons to Stop Breastfeeding Early or at Six Months
The number of mothers who stop breastfeeding at six months is significant1. Stopping breastfeeding at this stage can sometimes be a choice made during pregnancy due to personal reasons, work pressure, or prior experiences. For many others, however, it is a decision made due to circumstances beyond their control. The main reasons behind this time frame include:
- Quantity Issues: Many mothers experience hormonal dips and supply issues around the six-month mark, often coinciding with the introduction of solid foods or the cessation of night feedings.
- Challenging Breastfeeding Journey: Mothers who have faced a difficult breastfeeding experience in terms of physical and mental well-being may push themselves to continue until six months, hoping to maximize the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding.
- Time Management Issues: Mothers who have returned to work often find it challenging to manage the demands of both work and breastfeeding, leading to early weaning.
- Medication Considerations: Some mothers may postpone necessary medication during breastfeeding, viewing the six-month mark as an appropriate time to resume treatment.
- Lack of Awareness: In some cases, a lack of awareness regarding breastfeeding guidelines and benefits can lead women to opt for early weaning, especially at the time of the introduction of complementary food.
- Health Issues: For certain women, breastfeeding may not be practical due to health complications. They might continue breastfeeding until complementary foods are introduced but ultimately decide to stop.
- Babies’ Developmental Changes: At the six-month mark, babies undergo many developmental changes and achieve important milestones. They may be able to sit with support or even without it. Babies are often in an exploration stage, putting everything they can get their hands on into their mouths. All these might result in a breastfeeding strike.
- Exhaustion of Pumping: Many mothers opt for exclusive breast pumping for various reasons. Over time, pumping feels hard and draining, both physically and mentally. That is the phase when many mothers quit pumping and choose to switch to formula milk. If you are exclusively pumping and struggling with the thought, “I Want to Stop Pumping but Feel Guilty”, follow these 6 steps.
The Mental Load of Weaning at 6 Months
Irrespective of the baby’s age, weaning comes with an emotional rollercoaster. When they stop breastfeeding at 6 months, mothers often experience internal conflicts that make them question their decision, disrupt their mental peace, and make the transition phase even more difficult.
- Post-Weaning Depression: The hormonal fluctuations and emotional conflicts associated with weaning may lead to various mental health symptoms in many women, including lack of sleep, irritability, tiredness, crying, mood swings, night sweats, and more. New parents should be aware of these normal hormonal fluctuations to encourage open discussions about mood disorders and to seek help when needed. Although it can occur at any stage, these symptoms might be more evident with earlier weaning, especially if it was unplanned.
- Confusion and Uncertainty About Whether to Stop Breastfeeding: If you are at a stage of conflict, deciding whether to continue beyond six months or stop at this point but still feel unable to process your feelings, it’s always better to seek guidance from a reliable or trustworthy person. For example, if your decision is driven by quantity issues, it might be possible to resolve this with the help of a lactation consultant or even an experienced fellow mother. If you are feeling exhausted, you can check about getting a support system. Alternatively, consider reaching out to a personal therapist, friends, or online forums to help you make a decision that fits best for you and your baby.Sometimes, instead of completely stopping breastfeeding, you can choose a combination of breastfeeding, formula feeding, and complementary foods moving forward. This decision is entirely personal and can vary from family to family.
- Guilt That Arises Weeks After Stopping Breastfeeding: Many mothers start to miss their breastfeeding journey even weeks or months after stopping. Just as many of us miss the newborn phase or baby stage, they often long for the exclusive time that mom and baby used to share during breastfeeding. Sometimes, guilt hits hard when you see another mom who has successfully managed to breastfeed for a longer duration or come across articles or videos about the benefits of extended breastfeeding. This can be especially tough when your baby gets sick.
- Societal Expectations and Pressures Related to Breastfeeding: Mothers often face judgment regarding their breastfeeding choices from various sources, whether it’s from family members, society, or mom groups. They feel pressure to explain when they stopped breastfeeding or the reasons why they stopped at six months. It’s a tough situation for moms to endure unsolicited advice or comparisons regarding their feeding choices. There is also a tendency for mothers to fit into the ‘good mother’ image, which can, in turn, lead to severe mom guilt over their decision to wean at six months and result in a loss of confidence as a woman.
- Challenges During the Transition Phase: Even though you have introduced complementary foods at six months, it can still be tough to transition your baby from breastfeeding to bottle feeding. This is especially challenging for moms whose babies are habituated to sleeping while latching. In addition to the ongoing emotional struggles regarding weaning, the challenging transition process can make this time even more troublesome.
How to Overcome the Guilt of stopping breastfeeding at 6 Months
- Understand, Acknowledge, and Accept: Acknowledging and accepting the situation is the first step toward mental health. Give yourself time to adjust to this transition. For many women, early weaning happens unplanned, due to various reasons as discussed above. If you’re one of them, you need to understand that this is normal and common among women. Statistics show that despite efforts to promote breastfeeding, a gap remains, leading many to stop earlier than intended.2
- Enjoy the Small but Significant Victories: Live in the spontaneous, happy moments that motherhood brings. Instead of feeling depressed about not being able to continue breastfeeding, be proud of what your six-month breastfeeding journey has gifted you—the smile of your baby after feeding, the unique bond you shared, and the sound of your baby gulping milk. The happiness of motherhood extends beyond breastfeeding. Enjoy the tiny fingers grasping your hand, the wonder of watching little feet grow bigger, and the uniqueness of each moment you share as a parent.
- Educate Yourself: Sometimes, living without clear direction can impair your mental health. Read more, listen more, but be careful not to go overboard with information. Obsessing over gathering information or becoming hyper-aware can do more harm than good. Stay within healthy limits. Be aware of the possible advantages, disadvantages, and alternatives of stopping breastfeeding at six months, and then focus on educating yourself about parenting basics. Seek reliable information to guide you in caring for your baby.
- Practice Self-Care: Self-care is often nowhere in the picture for new parents. Sleep deprivation, hormonal changes, and adapting to their new roles can keep mothers away from even thinking about self-care. But at this point, dedicate more time to self-care. As part of your self-care routine, focus on understanding your emotions. Consider using journaling or other methods to process your feelings, especially breastfeeding guilt, as this can help you address your struggles during this phase.
- Reward Yourself: You deserve to celebrate all the efforts you have put in over the last six months. Appreciate yourself for giving your baby the best start by providing the magical drink: colostrum. Imagine how many ounces of milk you have supplied and how your baby has thrived on it. You can take pride in the fact that your baby has gained weight solely from what you have provided for them. When you stop breastfeeding, reward yourself as a way to appreciate your breastfeeding journey. It can be anything, but it should be exclusively for you.
- Make Memories: Out of physical and mental exhaustion, we often forget to create moments or cherish the memories of our experiences. Be mindful, and enjoy the time you have before it’s gone, even though this phase can be draining. There may be beautiful moments you share, even if there were challenges in the process. Feel those moments. Take photographs of your baby’s smile and sleeping face. Capture images of your baby holding your hand while breastfeeding or document those tiny feet. You can also try journaling or practicing mindful photography from this stage onwards. Mindful photography can help you slow down, engage all your senses, and live in the moment while preserving the emotional side of these moments forever.
- Connect With People: There may be a tendency among mothers to isolate themselves from the world in the initial days of motherhood. In reality, this is a great time to make genuine friendships and deepen the bond with your friends—women who have a lot to share with each other about their motherhood journeys. Having a great friend circle can help you manage the breastfeeding guilt and transition phase more effectively.
- Seek Professional Help: If the emotional struggles, hormonal fluctuations, and physical and mental exhaustion are taking a toll on your mental health, you might need to seek professional help. Some mental health issues won’t heal on their own, and as time passes, they can affect the quality of your life. So, as a mother who will face many responsibilities as a parent in the future, prioritize your mental health and seek therapy if necessary.
- Focus on the Future: There is so much more you need to focus on in your life, rather than feeling guilty. The six-month mark is a rich and important period of parenthood. You need to plan, learn, and prepare more for your baby’s diet and nutrition as part of introducing complementary foods. This may also be the time when your baby starts to move, bond more with you, and much more. So, use your free time to focus on your future—your parenting journey, career, family, and other areas of your life.
- Set Realistic Expectations or Goals: Setting short-term as well as long-term goals can help you stay motivated and overcome the identity crisis many mothers experience after childbirth, but make sure these goals are realistic. For example, having hormonal issues, being an exclusively pumping mother without a support system, and opting to breastfeed for two years may be an unrealistic goal. Don’t try to be a perfect mom or a wonder woman in motherhood. Do what is best for your baby and what works for you and your family. Don’t let overwhelming information from the internet or unsolicited advice from society ruin your mental health.
- Don’t Resent the Breastfeeding Journey: Just because breastfeeding didn’t work for you and your baby, please don’t hate breastfeeding itself. There might have been a gap in awareness or proper education about breastfeeding, or something might have disrupted your mental peace, but that doesn’t mean you should hate the experience.
- Help New Mothers: Use your experiences and the lessons learned from your mistakes to support new mothers. By sharing your journey, you can not only help others but also overcome your own guilt and boost your confidence and mental health.
Stopping Breastfeeding at 6 Months: Things to Consider
- Baby’s Health: Evaluating your baby’s health, immunity, and weight gain is ideal when considering stopping breastfeeding at six months. If you trust your pediatrician and feel they are empathetic, discuss any concerns about transitioning to formula milk and your baby’s tolerance.
- Alternative Options: Consider alternative options, such as resolving issues with the help of an expert or trying combination feeding, instead of stopping breastfeeding completely. Maintaining at least nighttime feeding can also be helpful if it’s convenient for you.
- Introduction of Cow Milk: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that cow’s milk should not be introduced until one year of age. Until then, breast milk or formula should be used instead. Educate yourself about the potential side effects of introducing cow’s milk3 earlier, and make sure to replace breast milk with formula only.
- Formula Milk Hygiene Practices: As you transition to bottle feeding or formula milk, learn more about proper hygiene practices, mixing methods, and your baby’s tolerance. Make an extra effort to ensure your baby receives all the necessary nutrients during this developmental stage through complementary foods. Be prepared for your baby to reject bottles or foods, and be ready to learn and adapt to the situation.
- Bonding With the Baby: Understand that bonding is not solely about breastfeeding. Make an effort to spend quality time with your baby, especially during this stage when they begin to interact more and connect with the world. During bottle-feeding, ensure you maintain eye contact, talk, and sing to strengthen your bond.
Reflections From Mindful Portrait
Ending breastfeeding at six months might cause a mix of guilt or relief. If you are a first-time mother struggling to make a decision, it’s always best to consult an expert who can guide you toward what’s best for your mental health and baby’s well-being. If you have already stopped breastfeeding and are feeling guilty, it’s time to move past it and focus on the future. Prioritize what lies ahead because motherhood is not just about breastfeeding—it’s a bigger responsibility that encompasses so much more. Realizing that when stopping breastfeeding at 6 months, guilt is normal, and overcoming this in the right way is the key to success.
- U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention – About Breastfeeding Data, Key breastfeeding indicators and current rates ↩︎
- Healthdirect Australia Limited – Why 4 in 10 mothers stop breastfeeding by 6 months ↩︎
- National Library of Medicine – Whole cow’s milk in infancy, by Alexander KC Leung, Reginald S Sauve ↩︎