You will never know where all your time goes after becoming a toddler mom. One fine day, when someone or something crosses your path, you will pause and realize how far you have come. If you were working before and chose to become a stay-at-home mom after your baby, then each birthday of your little one might remind you about the time passed without you even realizing it. Self-care for moms becomes crucial in these moments to maintain mental and emotional well-being.

Even though the journey seems beautiful, many moms might be struggling with their mental health, sometimes without noticing it at all.

Nowadays, the social stigma associated with discussing mom’s mental health is slowly decreasing. More campaigns, research, studies, and support groups are emphasizing the importance of a mother’s mental health in the development of children and a healthier society.

Let’s talk about self-care for moms and encourage women to prioritize themselves and build a better generation.

Self-care tips for moms

Regardless of how busy life gets, moms should establish a self-care routine that fits their schedule or aligns with their life. It can be anything from creating a self-care schedule, assigning a self-care day, or starting a self-care bullet journal. Scheduling a self-care day means intentionally maintaining a plan, dividing responsibilities, and sticking to a break or “me time” for a set period. A self-care day is a day designated to focus on self-care, serving as a break or a time to unwind and recharge. Similarly, a bullet journal can be used for self-reflection, especially in the context of self-care. For example, you can use the following 10 “When did I last?” prompts as bullet journal ideas. These prompts can help you reflect on your self-care journey and stay on track.

10 ‘When Did I Last’ Questions for Moms’ Self-Care

Here is a list of 10 simple things in daily life that might feel silly but have a significant impact on overall well-being. Ask yourself these questions to monitor your routine and keep an eye on your self-care, which is the first and foremost step towards a healthy mind.

1. When was the last time you were truly happy?

The word happiness has become a norm, a trend, or a social media hashtag now. As our focus shifts towards showcasing happiness, we might miss out on mindful moments and meaningful connections, which are the gateway to experiencing genuine happiness.

Women are often conditioned to believe that certain moments in motherhood are the most precious and happiest of their lives. But it is important to emphasize self-care for moms by setting aside time to explore what truly makes ‘you’ happy. Treat yourself to moments of happiness often. You deserve happiness. However, make sure not to feel pressured to find it. Take it easy on yourself. After all, your mental health is what matters most.

2. When was the last time you spent time in front of the mirror?

While messy hair, a casual ponytail, and loose pajamas might be the most comfortable look you prefer as a mother, dressing up, changing your appearance, and taking the time to look at yourself can be a powerful mood booster, a key aspect of self-care for moms. It can help you feel motivated, confident, fresh, and pleasant. It’s like decluttering for your mind and soul. So, the next time you look in the mirror, make sure you are really looking at yourself. Be mindful.

3. When was the last time you enjoyed a bath?

Taking a bath can feel like a luxury after becoming a mother. A warm bath, free from the worry of waking up your baby, the constant checking for baby sounds, the endless knocks from toddlers, and the need to be aware of what’s happening outside, might be something you crave and deeply miss. Moreover, studies have shown that a warm bath can reduce stress hormones, thereby helping you manage your mental health. So make an effort to find a way to enjoy a mindful bath at least once in a while.

Prioritize a Self-Care Day for a Mindful Bath and More

Treat yourself to a dedicated self-care day. Plan your day around activities that nourish you and allow you to unwind. This could include taking a long bath, getting a massage, or simply reading a book in peace.

4. When was the last time you had a peaceful deep conversation?

A deep conversation can help you understand yourself better, unwind, and destress. Be it with your husband, best friend, a fellow mother, or anyone who matches your vibe. An engaging conversation may feel like a distant dream now, with your little attention seeker always being possessive around you. But it’s okay to let them feel bored for some time to prioritize your needs.

Deep conversations are essential for building a support network, especially for stay-at-home moms who often face unique challenges. If you’re familiar with the struggles discussed in my post on ‘Stay-at-Home Mom Struggles: 8 Challenges and Solutions,’ you’ll understand the importance of effective communication and maintaining genuine relationships. Engaging in personal conversations can also provide an opportunity to monitor your own mental health, discuss and address any challenges, offering emotional support and practical advice.

5. When was the last time you cooked your favorite food?

Do you ever notice how much of your free time is consumed by thinking about what to cook for your picky eater? You spend a lot of time searching online for meal ideas for them. In the end, with time running short, you may end up skipping your own meals, eating your toddler’s leftovers, and cooking according to other family members’ preferences. In the long run, this might become a habit, and you may eventually forget what your preferences are. Never compromise on preserving your identity outside of motherhood. The process of cooking itself can be relaxing and enjoyable, a revisit to yourself when you cook your favorite food mindfully.

Choose a day that suits you best, designate it as your self-care day, and plan meals for yourself. This approach can effectively counter procrastination, especially since cooking for yourself is a self-care tip for moms that can easily be put off.

6. When was the last time you had intimate moments with your partner?

Sexual life undergoes a significant change after delivery. Now, intimacy might feel like an unrealistic expectation for you. The mind will always be preoccupied with thoughts about the baby waking up, meal plans, diaper changes, etc. With all these responsibilities, sex might start feeling like just another task. It’s important to remember that intimacy is an emotional need for women. Engaging in mindful intimate moments can help you realize that scars, stretch marks, and other body changes after delivery never affected your attachment level. This realization itself can provide you with confidence, increased self-esteem, emotional attachment with your partner, relaxation, and pleasure.

Although it can be challenging, it is still possible to find time to sort things out, like finding time for mindful sex. Feel free to communicate with your partner, and together you can work it out.

7. When was the last time you enjoyed your favorite hobby or took a break from the daily routine?

You need to understand the importance of “me-time” and taking regular breaks for your mental health. Spending 10 minutes every day exclusively for yourself is not an unachievable goal. ‘Me-time’ should be meaningful and utilized for self-care. Taking a break doesn’t mean finishing incomplete tasks while someone else cares for your kids.

Find me-time activities that work for you, like reading a book, watching a series, enjoying a cup of coffee, going for an evening walk, journaling, or simply getting lost in your thoughts.

8. When was the last time you went out or did something without worrying about time or duties?

If you want to enjoy a moment, you need to be present in the moment, with a free mind. When you go out for a date or a girls’ hangout, all you have to think and talk about are your pending tasks or worries about kids’ well-being, then there is no point in putting in so much effort to go out. Eventually, the idea of going out will become stressful.

Planning ahead and taking necessary actions, such as hiring a babysitter, completing tasks before going out, or finding activities to keep the kids engaged during that period, can be a solution to this problem.

9. When was the last time you spent money on yourself?

Women, especially stay-at-home moms, often keep their needs to themselves, feeling embarrassed about being financially dependent on their partners. ‘Every penny is a penny earned.’ You are equally contributing to saving money. Family is a partnership, and your contribution is invaluable.

Make it a habit to treat yourself occasionally—it could be buying that dress you’ve been eyeing for so long, treating your loved ones to gifts, or finally getting that plant you’ve always wanted.

10. When was the last time you expressed your true emotions?

There are several reasons why you might develop a tendency to suppress your emotions. It could stem from social stigma, constant pressure regarding gentle parenting and childhood trauma, having an emotionally abusive or unavailable partner, or struggling to validate your own emotions. However, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to not be okay. Motherhood comes with both good and bad days. If you’re feeling angry, let it out; if you’re sad, cry it out. It’s better than bottling up your emotions.

Reflections from Mindful Portrait

In the middle of catching up on life, it’s easy to lose focus on yourself. However, it’s still important. Make it a habit to check in with yourself using these self-care questions at least once every month. Assign a day as your self-care day or start a self care bullet journal. This practice can help you lead a mindful life. Remember, you can’t have it all, but fulfilling at least a few of these can add beauty to your life.